Any movie that starts off with a montage of Klimt's painting should be backed by a script that follows in similar magnanimity but this motherfucker is the artistic equivalent of grade school pictoralism. The acting is likewise amateurish in a regional theater sort of way that makes you want to sneak into the local Cinemark with your pockets full of snacks to offset the box office ticket rape that's going to occur. You will not get your money out of this one even if you watch it for free on YouTube as I did.
The plot is submoronic, the big cat screeches whenever the vampire attacks are public access horror showesque and the relationship between the main character and his girlfriend is stomach-turningly precious. The brutha man detective's bruskness towards the neurotic Jew protagonist is the only redeeming quality in this movie save for its ready availability and freeness on the splinterweb.